Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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