Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
