Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
