Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
