Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
