I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
