Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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