No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
