Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
