was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
