does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize