Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
