so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
