everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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