you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
