One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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