We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
