I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
