I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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