I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
