So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
