i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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