I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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