I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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