I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
