I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
