Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
