whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
