Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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