After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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