Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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