So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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