apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
