My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont even know how to be here
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
