I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
