i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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