I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
