Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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