epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
