Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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