Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
