Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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