i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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