He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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