my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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