He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
