I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
