It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Houston, we have a squirter
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
