You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
