You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
