Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
