wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize