if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
