You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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