last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
