ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My vagina is very pro this idea
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