I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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