No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
