Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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